I once built a bookshelf from a flat pack and had four screws left over, and that shelf still stands, slightly leaning, as a monument to confidence. So I come to unfortunate design with sympathy. Somebody had an idea, somebody said yes, and then nobody, at any point, said hang on, mate. This is a guided tour of what happens when everyone in the room is too polite. Please keep your arms inside the tour at all times, and do not sit on the shoe.

Which one is the cabbage?
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So much support, so little privacy.
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Choose your own adventure.
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Forever full, forever disappointing.
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Something smells fashionable.
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Ears on ears.
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Give me a hand with dinner.
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Worst job in the house.
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Close enough.
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The windows are trying to leave.
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Barefoot, but formal.
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Saddle up.
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Red ring of comfort.
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Next stop: oink.
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Installed by can opener.
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Toe much.
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He's really put down roots.
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Accessible in spirit only.
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Eight arms, zero dishes washed.
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Working nine to five, in heels.
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Long neck, long night.
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The belt is a collar now.
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Built in display case.
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Seat reserved.
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It looks surprised to see you.
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Some assembly required.
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Now boarding: nap time.
SaveUnfortunate design
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Let’s start in the living room, because weird home decor is where good intentions go to get upholstered. Somebody made an armchair that looks like a startled duck, and I genuinely can’t decide whether to sit in it or apologize to it. I once bought a lamp shaped like a flamingo because it was on sale, and my flatmate made me keep it in the hallway, facing the wall. Most of these pieces would be sent straight to the garage.
Clothing gets a special mention, because bad design you can wear follows you around all day. There are shoes that show every toe, slippers that are just toes, and a shirt with enough buttonholes to service a small village. And I’m sorry, but a man in a purple fleece holding two purple cabbages isn’t a design flaw, it’s camouflage, and frankly it’s working.
Then there are the unfortunate design choices that came with a building permit. A house whose windows climb the wall like they’re trying to escape. A sink cut into a counter with what I can only assume was a bread knife. A portable toilet wallpapered with a cheering crowd, which is the most supportive bathroom ever built and also the least private.
What I love about all of this is that every single object had a meeting. Someone drew it, someone priced it, someone loaded it onto a truck. At each step there was a chance for a quiet voice to say, are we sure about the horse toilet, and at each step that voice stayed home sick. That’s not really a failure of design, it’s a triumph of optimism. I respect it the way I respect a dog who brings you a stick that is clearly an entire tree.
And honestly, I find it encouraging. The world is full of people afraid to try things in case they look silly, and here’s proof you can make something deeply silly and it still ends up in someone’s house. Someone sits in that shoe chair every morning to check their emails. Someone hangs their mugs on that octopus and feels genuine joy. Good on them, really.
The chair is a shoe. The toilet is a horse. The meeting is adjourned.
If you haven’t seen enough questionable choices yet, we have a whole showroom. Browse the design fails in home decor that are quite something, wander through more weird home decor that made me respect professional designers, or read about the unfortunate names some people have to live with every day. Bring a friend. Someone needs to hold your hand through the furniture section.

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Send it to the friend who’ll laugh the hardest, or post it for everyone.






