I have gotten exactly one good text from a man in my life, and it was my dad telling me the gas line at Costco was short. Everything else has been a question about my body from someone whose profile picture is a fish. So I have enormous respect for the women here, who got creepy texts from guys and decided not to block, not to cry, but to get funny about it. Block buttons are great. A reply that ends the conversation forever is art.
Squirrel was a strong closer.
Merry Christmas, here are eight legs.
Honestly, this is how it should always go.
Transformation complete.
Innocence as a weapon.
Dinosaur first, then the report button.
Somebody had to invoice him.
Respectfully, run.
Terms and conditions apply.
Xoxo has never sounded scarier.
Technically, he asked for Bob.
Public service announcement, delivered.
Fill in the blank: nailed it.
Sugar, technically.
Mood: ruined, as intended.
Surprise for a surprise.
Princess wants property.
Ego, measured.
Hydration is a personality.
Rooftop grooming is very exclusive.
Dictionary guy lost to the gym.
Nothing kills the mood like a twin.
Magnification required.
She knows a fourth way.
From creep to downline in two texts.
The bar is a skyscraper now.
George has, and that's final.
Rawr is the new block button.
Creepy texts from guys
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My favorite move, by far, is pretending not to understand. It’s the most powerful thing a woman can do, which is wild, because men have been doing it to us about dishes for centuries. He asks for pics, she sends her dog, and he hints at something, so she guesses baseball, then video games, then vegetables. Savage replies don’t always need to be mean, they just need to be so aggressively wholesome that he feels supervised by a substitute teacher.
Then there’s the hustle approach, which I deeply admire. He wants a naughty girl, she wants him in her makeup business, and he asks for a sugar baby, so she offers fruit snacks. Some of the best dating app messages are the ones where the woman simply outhustles the creep, and you can watch him go from flirting to asking about commission rates in under a minute. Honestly, that’s the most romantic thing I’ve ever seen.
And then my personal favorite, the women who answer a spicy message with a crime scene. You send an eggplant, you get a knife GIF. You write two sentences of steamy fan fiction, you get a horror novel back. These funny text comebacks work because they meet his energy and then pass it at ninety miles an hour, and suddenly he’s the one who feels unsafe.
What I love about this stuff is that it flips a feeling most women know really well. You get a message like that and your stomach drops a little, because you don’t know yet if this guy is a goof or a problem. A great reply takes that power back in about six words, and now he’s the one staring at his phone, wondering what just happened to him and whether he should log off.
We share these because it’s basically a group chat for the whole internet. Every screenshot is a woman saying look what he sent, and look what I did about it. I’ve screenshotted a few of my own, mostly ones where my reply was way less clever than these, and my friends were kind enough to lie to me about it. That’s friendship. It’s also why I’m saving all of these for later.
He slid in. She replied. He logged off forever.
If you want more men getting gently and not so gently humbled, our dating app memes and conversations are a great next stop, and the cringe texts collection proves some people should not be allowed near a keyboard. We’ve also got savage comment threads, funny text replies, and plenty of roast compilations for when you need someone else’s comeback. Screenshot responsibly. Someone is always watching.
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Katie Rodriguez is a seasoned writer with eight years dedicated to meme commentary, viral internet events, and digital storytelling. Formerly a senior meme analyst at Bored Panda and an occasional guest contributor at Vice's Motherboard, Kat specializes in meme culture’s intersection with social media phenomena—covering trends like Milk Crate Challenge, Area 51 Raid, and Baby Yoda. She’s known for her witty writing style and deep understanding of why certain memes resonate across generations, making her a valuable voice on Thunder Dungeon.
