I was told the past was hard, but I’ve been looking at nostalgia pics before bed and it mostly seems like everybody was just excited about appliances.
Nobody in that picture is being sarcastic. I bought my wife a blender one Christmas and I haven’t picked a restaurant since, so here’s the rest of what we used to be happy about.
The robot is fine. I have questions about the other one.
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That R2 unit has better posture than I do.
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You still owe them four dollars.
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Nobody lit these. They were for company.
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Invented by somebody who had never met a parent.
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This is how Alf gets you to stop asking about the cat.
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Side B was just your cousin yelling over the radio.
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Somebody's dad did this voice at every cookout for nine years.
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Best-dressed people to ever hand me a chili.
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He's about to send an email, and it's going to take until Thursday.
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The last piece of technology I fully understood.
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Nobody ever explained this to me, and I cried anyway.
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My favorite kind of 80s nostalgia is how much of it was somebody’s mom with a roll of tinfoil and a free weekend. She didn’t ask if you wanted a costume. She looked at a cardboard box, saw your whole future, and then you went out in public as a robot. I was a ghost for three straight Halloweens because my dad owned one good sheet, and we needed it back by Sunday.
The 90s nostalgia is quieter, and it gets me around the game discs. I paid real money for those, and I couldn’t tell you where a single one of them went. Same with the candle that had a seashell in it, which my mother lit once, in 1998, and then guarded like a museum. Most of my childhood memories are of being told not to touch something.
I think people pass these around because nobody ever took a picture of the good part on purpose. They were trying to get the car in the shot, or the dog, or the microwave, and your whole family just wandered in behind it. You can’t go back, and you wouldn’t last a week with that much wood paneling, but it’s real nice somebody kept the picture.
The tape is warped. The store is closed. We’d all still go.
I went straight from here to My Mom Cut My Hair With Garden Shears and These 80s and 90s Hairstyles Prove I Wasn’t Alone, and then I sat a while with 40 Photos Of 80s Cool That Will Make You Nostalgic. Neither one fixed my knees.
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