I own exactly one weapon against bugs, and it’s a shoe I’ve thrown so many times it deserves hazard pay. Halloween is over, the plastic spiders are back in the bin, and I was ready to relax until I found these creepy facts about the real insects living in my yard. Turns out the decorations were the least scary thing on my porch all month.
And people say marriage is hard.
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Birds, please file a complaint.
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Undefeated, and it weighs nothing.
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Cute outfit, horrifying menu.
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Rent free has never been less cute.
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The insect facts that got me worst are the ones about family life. A female praying mantis eats her mate’s head right after the honeymoon, and every couples therapist I know just quietly took notes. Ladybugs, the polka-dot mascot of every kid’s rain boot, will eat their own siblings and take a nibble out of people. I put one on my niece’s finger last spring, and I think I owe her an apology.
Then there are the creepy bugs that treat other bodies like rental property. A wasp lays its eggs inside a living caterpillar, the bot fly moves into mammals, humans included, and houseflies apparently throw up on everything they land on. These weird animal facts make horror movies look lazy, and the mosquito still outranks all of them as the deadliest thing on the planet.
I think we pass these around because fear is more fun in a group chat. Nobody wants to be alone with the knowledge that there are 200 million insects for every person on Earth, but sending it to five friends at midnight feels like starting a support group. The bugs win on numbers. We win on screenshots.
I’m keeping the shoe by the door until at least Thanksgiving.
If you somehow want more, Why Are Creepy Facts Always About Halloween’s Favorite Animals? swaps the bugs for bigger critters, and 26 Creepy Facts That Started My Spooky Season Earlier Than I Wanted handles everything else that goes bump. Read both with the lights on.
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