South Park GTA6 Footage Is Here, and It Is a Man Getting Hit With Dog Poop

The best video game marketing of the year just happened, and it involved a dog going to the bathroom on a beach. The South Park GTA6 crossover came out of nowhere on Wednesday night, when the episode “Guinea Pig on a Stick” stopped to play never-before-seen Grand Theft Auto VI gameplay. The big reveal was a man getting hit in the head with a bag of dog poop. I have waited my whole adult life for this game, and I did not picture this.

Rockstar does not do surprise drops. This is a company that puts out a trailer about as often as I go to the dentist, so fresh footage popping up on a Comedy Central cartoon felt like finding the Declaration of Independence taped up in a gas station bathroom. And yet the episode’s end credits point to Rockstar, which means this was not the show animating its own parody. Gaming sites confirmed the South Park episode featuring exclusive GTA 6 footage was the real game, sent over by the studio itself.

What Actually Happens in the Clip

Here is the sequence as best I can follow it, and I followed it about nine times. Jason, one of the game’s two leads, is walking a packed Vice City beach. The crowd is enormous, the sand looks real, and the water looks like a postcard somebody would lie on.

Then a dog stops to do its business right in the middle of everything, and the owner, to his credit, bags it up like a responsible citizen. That is the last responsible thing anybody does.

Jason throws something at the guy, a fight breaks out, and somewhere in the scuffle Jason grabs that bag and swings it at the man’s head. That is the mechanic. After all these years, a bag of dog waste is now a melee weapon, and I am trying very hard to be a grown-up about it.

Who Had South Park GTA 6 Footage Before Another Trailer?

The posts started landing within minutes of the episode airing, and most of them read like people checking whether they were still awake. Plain South Park GTA6 news headlines have never looked so confused.

My favorite reactions admitted the bit was ridiculous and then got completely distracted by the graphics, which is exactly the trap. The cartoon even says it out loud: the graphics are next-level, and it is all coming in November. Rockstar has the game set for November 19, so this was less a leak than the strangest commercial ever made.

Thirteen Years of Waiting, One Bag

Grand Theft Auto V came out in 2013. People who were in kindergarten then are now old enough to drive to the store and buy this game themselves, and I have personally gone from having opinions about graphics cards to having opinions about lumbar support. One Reddit commenter pointed out that every episode this season has found a way to mention GTA 6, which makes this feel less like a cameo and more like the show slowly building a shrine.

So I have to ask: is this the greatest reveal in Rockstar history or the dumbest one? And when you finally load into that beach in November, be honest, are you looking at the waves or looking for a dog?

I will confess I reread Why Do GTA 6 Memes Feel Like a Support Group for People Who Waited Too Long? while writing this, purely for emotional support. GTA 6 Extended Release Memes: Jason’s Backflip, Lucia Carrying the Team and Cyberleek Getting Cooked is the other half of my therapy, and 38 Gaming Memes For People With 400 Unfinished Games covers what I will be doing until November 19.