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I Thought I Could Cook Until Cooking Memes Started Describing My Dinners

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My husband made pasta one time in 2019 and still brings it up like he survived a war. That’s the whole problem with home cooking: the bar is underground, and somehow we keep tripping over it. I once served cereal at a dinner party and called it rustic, so I’m not innocent here. These cooking memes are for everyone who said they’d just wing it and then met the smoke alarm.

Tweet showing a man disgusted by insects but delighted by lobsters, crabs and shrimp
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Cooking memes take on AI: a line cook dares robots to steal beers and misfire entrees

The walk-in cooler beers are not in the training data.

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Polished chef plating food beside the actual cook, a tattooed guy in a red apron
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Cooking memes favorite: two chefs eating crouched on the kitchen floor during a break
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Listen up meme listing cheesy, 20-minute, stay-in qualities that turn out to describe frozen pizza

Honestly the most reliable relationship in my freezer.

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Man wearing an edited chef hat announces he is the chef now in cooking memes
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Red onions cut nine ways on a board, captioned trust me, they all taste different
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Cooking memes oddity: a peanut butter sandwich topped with melatonin gummies instead of jelly

PB and zzz.

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Small red cooler full of dill pickle spears captioned don't worry, I brought SPF
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Block of parmesan and grated cheese with a question about calling it spaghetti confetti
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Bowl of celery soup made from only celery and water, posted proudly as gangster

Gangster? Sir, that's a vegetable bath.

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Cooking memes alarm: dried anchovies beside a pufferfish someone mistook for the big anchovy
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Vintage Oscar Mayer wiener whistle toys bundled together with a joke about people listening
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Pizza box window labeled abstract beside the opened full pizza labeled full paper

Peer reviewed. Rejected. Eaten anyway.

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Dachshund with eyes closed beside a sandwich, cooking memes about eating at midnight
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Stressed chef yelling in a busy kitchen, captioned asking for help then refusing it
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Hard boiled egg split open to reveal two yolks, cooking memes calling it lucky

Buy one, get one, no coupon required.

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Hand holding tied plastic bags of red and green salsa beside tacos in foil
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Chili with cornbread and cheese, captioned don't let your job distract you from soup
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Goofy meme joking that the inventor of refried beans simply fried them a second time

Twice the frying, half the planning.

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Tweet in cooking memes noting one boiled egg is plenty but 47 deviled eggs is fine
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Child's worksheet saying mom worked hard today and deserves a microwaved hot dog

Finally, someone in this house who gets it.

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Salmon, gravy covered mash and alphabet spaghetti on one plate, called out in cooking memes
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Restaurant memes are where the real chefs go to vent, and I believe every single word. Professional kitchens sound glamorous until you see two grown chefs eating dinner crouched on the floor like raccoons who went to culinary school. Then somebody warns them AI is coming for their jobs, and the line cook basically says good luck stealing five beers a night. That’s not a job description. That’s a personality.

Home cooking fails are a different kind of crime. I respect anyone who boils celery in water, calls it soup and feels gangster about it, because I’ve plated worse with way more confidence. And the food memes about midnight sandwiches and 47 deviled eggs are not jokes to me. They are my medical history.

Cooking is the one skill everybody pretends to have and nobody actually has under pressure. That’s why these hit so hard. Somewhere between the frozen pizza and a kid offering Mom a microwaved hot dog is the real truth: food is love, even when it is barely food. I would take that hot dog. I would cry about that hot dog.

The oven is preheated. The pizza is frozen. The chef is me now.

Still hungry? Weird Food Is Just Somebody’s Midnight Snack That Accidentally Got a Marketing Budget picks up right where the celery soup left off, and I Have Eaten Cereal for Dinner Three Times This Week, and the Supper Memes Did Not Judge Me is basically my autobiography. Grab a fork. Or don’t, I’m not your mom.

Who needs to see this?

Send it to the friend who’ll laugh the hardest, or post it for everyone.

Posted by Thunder Dungeon Staff About the author

Thunder Dungeon Staff is the byline for galleries our team makes together, led by co-founders Roy R. and Phil M. We've been curating internet humor since 2012: finding the funniest memes, pictures and posts, crediting creators wherever we can, and adding our own take. Roy or Phil reviews every post before it goes live.

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