Every day I am told to trust the experts, and every day an expert builds a staircase into a wall. These construction fails are proof that somebody out there got a permit, a paycheck and a thumbs up from an inspector who was clearly asleep in his truck. I once paid a man to fix my gutter and he fixed the neighbor’s instead. So I get it. Come see the empire we are all paying for.
Headroom sold separately.
Knock first, or just step over.
Somebody was paid by the cut.
The stairs and the door are no longer speaking.
Ventilation, but make it abstract.
Please use the other door. All of them.
I am furious about the stairs, and I will not calm down. Contractor fails usually involve one small mistake, but these people built entire staircases that lead nowhere, like a monument to giving up halfway through a thought. A beautiful old wooden staircase ending at a wall is not a mistake. It is a philosophy, and I think I agree with it.
Then there are the doors, which is where the real design fails live. Doors that open onto a ledge, doors with no steps, doors in a half wall that you could just step over. These home renovation fails feel like someone describing a house over the phone to a builder who hated them.
Deep down, I respect it. Somebody stood in that room, looked at the vent they just buried, and decided it was good enough for the rest of us. That is the most American thing I have ever seen. We laugh because we have all done a job we knew was wrong and hoped nobody would check.
The stairs go up. The door goes nowhere. The invoice went through.
If you are not angry enough yet, Ugly Renovations Prove That Money and Taste Have Never Once Been the Same Thing will get you there. I Have Seen the Worst Bathroom Designs and I Will Never Take a Reachable Toilet Paper Roll for Granted Again finishes the tour. Hard hats are optional.
Mike Hartley writes about buildings, contractors and other subjects that look fine right up until someone tries to use the stairs.
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Michael Hartley, or just "Mike," is an editor and seasoned meme historian whose articles have traced the evolution of meme humor from early Impact-font classics to today’s TikTok sensations. With nearly a decade spent as senior editor at ViralHype and as a regular contributor to Cheezburger, Mike has dissected the rise of meme legends such as Bad Luck Brian, Success Kid, and Doge. When he's not hunting down meme gold for Thunder Dungeon, Mike teaches workshops on meme marketing and the psychology behind shareable content.
