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Who Signed Off on These Construction Fails, and Are They Still Allowed Near Tools?

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Every day I am told to trust the experts, and every day an expert builds a staircase into a wall. These construction fails are proof that somebody out there got a permit, a paycheck and a thumbs up from an inspector who was clearly asleep in his truck. I once paid a man to fix my gutter and he fixed the neighbor’s instead. So I get it. Come see the empire we are all paying for.

Construction fails begin with baseboard trim built around a floor vent, blocking it.
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Finished basement room where the underside of a staircase crowds most of the space.

Headroom sold separately.

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Pipe on a street pole draining straight into a crumbling curb beside a do not enter sign.
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Smiling man pointing at one of the boldest construction fails, a staircase into a wall.
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Living room with a half wall and a full size door that nobody needs to open.

Knock first, or just step over.

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House with smeared, unfinished windows, a classic among construction fails from the curb.
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Ornate wooden Victorian staircase that ends at a paneled wall, labeled stairs to nowhere.
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Tiled shower stall so narrow a person would have to enter sideways.
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Baseboard trim cut in tiny jagged steps around a wall corner.

Somebody was paid by the cut.

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Construction fails on the floor: zigzag tiles laid so every pattern clashes.
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Sprawling house covered with mismatched additions, porches and rooflines.
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Floating spiral stair outside that stops well short of the ceiling above it.
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Construction fails like a brick building whose steps sit beside the door, not in front.

The stairs and the door are no longer speaking.

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Cobblestone circle built around a manhole cover set noticeably off center.
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Floating white stairs curling past a doorway with a pole in the way.
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Small room with a ceiling fan hung so low over a short set of stairs.
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Orange duct pipe bending out of a ceiling tile to feed a vent upside down, pure construction fails.

Ventilation, but make it abstract.

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Brick apartment with a door opening onto a tiny ledge high above the ground.
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Kitchen cabinets built so they open straight onto an air conditioning unit.
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Front door with no steps, porch or path, closing out these construction fails.

Please use the other door. All of them.

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I am furious about the stairs, and I will not calm down. Contractor fails usually involve one small mistake, but these people built entire staircases that lead nowhere, like a monument to giving up halfway through a thought. A beautiful old wooden staircase ending at a wall is not a mistake. It is a philosophy, and I think I agree with it.

Then there are the doors, which is where the real design fails live. Doors that open onto a ledge, doors with no steps, doors in a half wall that you could just step over. These home renovation fails feel like someone describing a house over the phone to a builder who hated them.

Deep down, I respect it. Somebody stood in that room, looked at the vent they just buried, and decided it was good enough for the rest of us. That is the most American thing I have ever seen. We laugh because we have all done a job we knew was wrong and hoped nobody would check.

The stairs go up. The door goes nowhere. The invoice went through.

If you are not angry enough yet, Ugly Renovations Prove That Money and Taste Have Never Once Been the Same Thing will get you there. I Have Seen the Worst Bathroom Designs and I Will Never Take a Reachable Toilet Paper Roll for Granted Again finishes the tour. Hard hats are optional.

Who needs to see this?

Send it to the friend who’ll laugh the hardest, or post it for everyone.

Posted by Thunder Dungeon Staff About the author

Thunder Dungeon Staff is the byline for galleries our team makes together, led by co-founders Roy R. and Phil M. We've been curating internet humor since 2012: finding the funniest memes, pictures and posts, crediting creators wherever we can, and adding our own take. Roy or Phil reviews every post before it goes live.

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