I do my best thinking with shampoo in my eyes and somewhere to be, which says a lot about my life choices. Last week I stood in the shower until the hot water ran out, trying to figure out if fish get thirsty, and then I was late to my own dentist appointment. Funny shower thoughts are the only proof I’m still using my brain. These hit the same spot, minus the water bill.
You need glasses to find the screwdriver to fix the glasses.
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Nature's hearing aid, installed very slowly.
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Moon reviews: one star, left a flag.
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Mark your calendar. Twice.
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I've been standing still thinking about this, which might be the answer.
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My random thoughts are never this good. Mine are usually a song I hate on loop and a sudden memory of something dumb I said in 2009. These people are out here realizing we were the aliens on the moon the whole time, and I’m still mad about a guy who cut me off at a gas station.
The best ones feel like mind blowing facts that nobody bothered to check. Is the opposite of walking running or standing still? I don’t know, and I’ve lost sleep over dumber questions. That’s the thing about deep thoughts in the shower: they show up with total confidence, make you feel like a genius for nine seconds, and then you step out and can’t remember your own Wi-Fi password.
These land because everybody’s brain is a little broken in the same way. You can’t control what shows up when you’re rinsing conditioner, and somehow it’s always either genius or garbage. Sharing them is just admitting you’re weird too, and honestly, that’s the nicest thing a stranger can do.
The water is cold. The thought is gone. The towel is in the other room.
If your brain is still spinning, 17 Random Facts I Learned Today Instead of Doing Anything Useful will keep it busy, and 35 Weird History Facts That School Was Too Scared to Assign covers everything your teachers skipped. Bring a towel this time.
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