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25 Retro Candy Favorites I Would Hide From the Trick-or-Treaters

Thunder Dungeon Staff Oct 29, 2026 08:00 AM EDT

Every October I tell myself I’m buying candy for the trick-or-treaters, and every October I’m standing in my kitchen at 9 p.m. eating the evidence. The worst part is the good stuff isn’t even in the bowl anymore. The retro candy I grew up on was cheaper, weirder and possibly regulated by nobody, and I would still trade a full-size bar for any of it. Look at what we used to get away with.

Yellow Willy Wonka Everlasting Gobstopper bag with colorful mini jawbreakers and a treat size package — Everlasting was a promise. My molars took it as a threat.
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Pile of pastel wax bottle candies, a retro candy you chewed long after the juice — Save

Orange Reese's Pieces wrapper featuring E.T. and a free magic motion sticker inside the bag — E.T. phoned home. I phoned my mom for another quarter.
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Strawberry Pop Rocks retro candy packet promising you could taste the explosion — Save

Willy Wonka Runts box with fruit shaped candies and cartoon banana, strawberry and orange characters — Save

Four vintage Wonka Nerds boxes in orange, grape, cherry and a pink Valentine edition — Two flavors in one box and we still fought over which side to open.
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Retro candy ad for Fruit Skittles from 1986 with the taste the rainbow slogan — Save

Four Now and Later taffy packs in tropical lemonade, pineapple, green apple and blueberry flavors — Save

Two purple Wonka Bottle Caps packets spilling soda pop flavored candy tablets on a table — Soda flavored candy, for kids who were already on soda.
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Two wrapped Tootsie Rolls and one unwrapped chocolate chew sitting on a white background — Save

Two rolls of Smarties with pastel retro candy tablets scattered in front of them — Save

Seven vintage SweetTarts wrappers in red, yellow, green and purple, all promising tangy candy — The wrapper said tangy. The roof of my mouth said lawyer.
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Pink bag of Wonka Pixy Stix with striped retro candy straws full of flavored sugar — Save

Nestle 100 Grand bar in a red wrapper lying on a dark wooden table — Save

Whatchamacallit bar, a retro candy classic, split open to show peanut crisp inside chocolate — Named by someone who gave up halfway through the meeting.
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Yellow box of mini vanilla Charleston Chews with chocolate covered nougat pieces in front — Save

Box of Atkinson's Chick-O-Stick bars, crunchy peanut butter candy in orange striped wrappers — Save

Vintage box of white candy cigarettes labeled Kings with loose candy sticks spread out — Save

Bonomo Turkish Taffy bars in strawberry, chocolate and banana, a retro candy you cracked first — Step one: smash it on the counter. Step two: lose a filling.
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Vintage Lik-m-aid Fun Dip wrapper with cherry and grape pouches and a Lik-a-Stix — Save

Box of Ice Cubes iced chocolate retro candy with individually wrapped squares in a row — Save

Three vintage Starburst packs in original, California fruits and strawberry flavors from a collector — Back when the pink ones were actual currency.
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Seven Wonka Laffy Taffy bars in assorted flavors, retro candy with jokes printed inside — Save

Red box of Popeye candy sticks with white candy sticks poking out of the top — Save

Collage of Dots, Chiclets, SweetTarts packets and Rain-Blo bubble gum balls on white — All of this for less than one coffee costs now.
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I have a real theory that Willy Wonka ran half my childhood without a permit. The man had a monopoly on 80s candy and nobody asked a single follow-up question. Pixy Stix were literally sugar in a straw, and we ate them like a science fair project that had gone well.

Then there’s the halloween candy nobody under 30 recognizes. Chick-O-Sticks, Charleston Chews, Turkish Taffy you had to smash on the counter like a cowboy breaking a bottle in a saloon. My grandmother kept a dish of this stuff that nobody touched, and now I’m the guy in the comments defending it with my whole chest. That’s not 90s nostalgia anymore. That’s a hostage situation, and the hostage is my taste buds.

Here’s what I figured out after way too much thinking: the candy was never that good. A Tootsie Roll is brown wax with confidence. What we actually miss is being a kid with a quarter and total authority over how to ruin our own dinner. I would pay real money for that feeling again, and double if the Starburst pack came out all pink.

The bowl is full. The porch light is on. The good stuff is in my desk drawer.

I went straight to Nostalgia Memes Are Fun Right Up Until You Do the Math on Your Own Age after this and instantly regretted the math part. 30 Funny Kids Halloween Costumes That Made Me Return My Store-Bought One is the perfect companion for the week. Bring snacks, ideally ones with a cartoon mascot.

Close-up of a strawberry Pop Rocks packet, the popping retro candy every kid begged for at the corner store checkout.

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Posted by Thunder Dungeon Staff About the author

Thunder Dungeon Staff is the byline for galleries our team makes together, led by co-founders Roy R. and Phil M. We've been curating internet humor since 2012: finding the funniest memes, pictures and posts, crediting creators wherever we can, and adding our own take. Roy or Phil reviews every post before it goes live.