Dana White Press Secretary Memes After He Turned Down the Job on Live TV

Picture the UFC boss at the White House briefing room lectern on Monday, grinning and bellowing “Who has the first question?” like he was about to announce a main event. That really happened, two days after President Trump posted that he had offered “the Great Dana White, a violent Fighter and Warrior” the job of press secretary. By then the Dana White press secretary memes had been running all weekend on a theory that the president had picked the wrong Dana White entirely.

So Is Dana White Actually the Press Secretary Now?

No. According to AP’s report on Dana White’s briefing room appearance, White told reporters “I have zero political aspirations” and fielded a question about a posthumous pardon for Pete Rose. Trump said he had been having “a very bad press day” and floated his old friend’s name for a laugh, then later asked White on camera if he wanted the job or would rather stay with “this ridiculous UFC.” White thanked him for the offer and said, “I do not want to be in politics, no.”

The “I was sort of kidding” explanation got picked apart almost immediately. My favorite reading came from @HeatherL63458, who decoded it as a simple policy where a good idea means serious and a bad idea means joke. Meanwhile, according to @BadFoxGraphics, Fox and Friends gave the whole thing more than 20 minutes one morning, which is longer than I have ever spent thinking about a job I was actually offered.

Did Trump Mix Up Two Different Dana Whites?

Here is where it got good. There is another Dana White, Dana W. White, who was the Pentagon’s chief spokesperson during Trump’s first term, and on Saturday @FanSince09 floated the theory that someone recommended her and the president heard the UFC guy. Nobody has confirmed it, and Trump has called the whole thing a joke. Nobody online cared, because the theory was too funny to fact-check.

I want this theory to be true so badly, and not for political reasons. I once spent twenty minutes at a party telling a woman named Jessica how much I loved her podcast before finding out it was a different Jessica, and I stayed another hour rather than admit it. @ChrisO_wiki named the principle Trump’s Razor, and @ferald_gord swears the whole thing is nearly a Veep episode, bar for bar.

Then people started bringing the other Dana into it, which is where the jokes got gentle and weird. One account thanked her for how well the UFC is doing lately. Another suggested pronouns might have saved everybody a weekend, and @covie_93 posted a fake breaking-news alert about an investigation into a second Dana White planted at the Defense Department.

Not everybody was in a joking mood. Some replies were just yelling, and journalist Illia Ponomarenko said there was nothing funny left in it at all. Fair enough. Some weeks you laugh, and some weeks you lie on the floor.

Why Does Everything Keep Ending Up at Four Seasons Total Landscaping?

Saturday, November 7, also happened to be six years to the day since the Four Seasons Total Landscaping press conference, the 2020 event held in the parking lot of a Philadelphia landscaping company. @omgsidewalks basically moved in there for the weekend, posting jokes about two Dana Whites walking into the place and sitting down at the bar.

The same account had already folded in the two Dan Sullivans, so by Sunday the joke had a full cinematic universe of people sharing names. @MarkHam80780803 summed up how both Danas probably felt with one rain-soaked still from Withnail and I.

Were the Dana White Press Secretary Memes Better Than the Briefing?

Monday’s briefing handed everyone fresh material. One widely shared post said a reporter asked White who would win a UFC cage match between Trump and Biden, and @CalltoActivism was far from the only one who took that as a sign the afternoon had left the rails.

The best jokes simply took the premise seriously. @thescottbarber decided the president was recruiting henchmen, a fair read of a post that requested fighters as assistants, and @AWeinstein figured we were one announcement away from a Call of Duty champion running the Joint Chiefs.

And then there is the edit of White at the podium in a blonde wig and a pink dress, captioned with a pun so bad I have to respect it.

He said no, the other Dana White presumably had a very confusing week of texts, and the lectern is back with its usual owner. So be honest: if a president offered you a job as a bit, how fast would you have said yes?

Want to know how the person who actually has the job is holding up? Katie Zacharia Memes After a 14-Minute Debut Nobody Could Stop Replaying covers her first time at that lectern, and White House Still President Memes Roast a PSA Nobody Asked For proves the building has been strange all month.