I do my best thinking in the shower, which is a problem, because I can’t write anything down and I’m wet. By the time I find a pen, the idea is gone and I’m standing in a towel holding a grocery receipt. So I’m deeply grateful for funny shower thoughts that other people managed to save. These are the ones that make you stop mid-rinse and stare at the tile like it owes you an answer.
Book club, but make it streaming.
Save
A whole planet, and the only residents are rovers.
Save
Baby pictures are vintage now, apparently.
Save
I will never wash my hands normally again.
Save
Monopoly with worse rules.
Save
The only purchase designed for the garbage.
Save
My favorite random thoughts are the ones that are technically true and completely useless. Keys are metal passwords. Trash bags are bought to be thrown away. Every book is the alphabet doing a remix. None of this helps me pay a bill, but I feel smarter for about four seconds, which is four seconds more than my inbox gives me.
Then there are the language ones, which belong in overthinking memes forever. We drive on parkways and park on driveways, and nobody in charge has ever explained it. I once lost an entire evening to whether water is wet, and I’m still not sure I won. These aren’t deep thoughts, exactly. They’re shallow thoughts that fell into a deep pool.
I think people love shower thoughts because they prove your brain is still curious when nobody’s watching. Take away the phone for ten minutes and it starts asking strange, sweet questions about elbows and onions. That’s not a glitch. That’s the part of you that used to ask why the sky is blue, and it’s still in there, just quieter and slightly damp.
I’m going to go stand in the shower now, purely for research.
Go read Funny Shower Thoughts Start With Shampoo and End With an Existential Crisis next, since it picks up right where this one leaves off, then wander into 29 Random Facts To Store In The Least Important Part Of Your Brain. Bring a towel. Your brain is going to need it.
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These are the stupidest thoughts I’ve had the misfortune to read in quite some time.
“Fire isn’t hot, it just makes other things hot” is exactly what that water one sounds like.
These shower thoughts come from idiots and/or stoners.