I do not know what is going on in Germany but these Berlin subway creatures are making me never want to leave my house again. Public transit is usually a nightmare but the U-Bahn is apparently a different dimension where people push jackfruit in strollers and wear red sequin suits for a Tuesday commute. It is a rolling stage for the city’s most eccentric residents and I am just an unimpressed local trying to figure out why a man’s sleeve matches the seat upholstery.
Berlin subway creatures
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I am looking at a dog sitting upright on a patterned seat looking more professional than I ever will and I have questions. Did he pay for a ticket? Probably not because rules are for suckers in the subway. These weird commuters have mastered the art of camouflage by matching their polo shirts to the actual bus seats. It is a level of blending in that I actually find a little bit terrifying. We are seeing high stakes commuting where people are drinking white wine from real glasses on the train like they are at a five star restaurant. It is a chaotic soul that you only find in German transit. And what about the woman with the jackfruit in the stroller? That is the most Berlin thing I have ever heard of. Why carry a baby when you can provide safe passage for a tropical fruit? We have passengers wearing identical Dr. Martens boots and handbags shaped like boxes of Barilla pasta. It is a different dimension where high fashion meets the grocery store aisle. I especially love the guy in the full red sequin suit because he clearly has zero cares left to give the world. It is a beautiful disaster of eccentric residents who treat the commute like a Parisian runway. You are just trying to get to work and you end up in a Handmaid’s Tale crossover with a vegan FAQ t-shirt.
The use of Google Translate for heartfelt love messages on the train is the only wholesome thing in this entire collection. Everything else is just pure transit chaos. We celebrate the weirdness of the U-Bahn because it reminds us that no matter how normal we think we are someone is always pushing a jackfruit nearby. These snapshots are a tribute to the people who refuse to let a commute ruin their aesthetic or their wine consumption. Whether you are a dog who paid for a seat or a person in a pasta purse you are part of the Berlin vibe. It is dry it is witty and it is exactly why I stay away from public transport whenever possible. I am just glad someone was there with a camera to document the madness so I didn’t have to witness it in person. Stay strange Berlin because you are definitely winning the award for most confusing subway system on the planet.
If you are currently stuck on a train with a guy in a sequined suit you should check out some public transit fails, funny commute stories, or maybe some classic travel memes. There is plenty of company in the world of the weird and the weary if you know where to look. Just try not to match your shirt to the seat upholstery next time you head out.
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