Funny

35 Tweets From Some of the Funniest Women on Twitter

Roy R. Sep 12, 2025 09:00 AM EDT

Tweets from women

I love one liners that arrive like a courtesy tap and leave like a wrecking ball. The best writers can ruin your day in a good way with eleven words and a comma. This week I sank into a glorious rabbit hole curated around tweets from women, and the ratio of hits to hits was unfair. The tone ranges from politely unhinged to clinically perfect, which, coincidentally, is also my skincare routine. The magic of the form is compression, take a thought, squeeze the air out, keep the sparkle. You do not need context when the rhythm is right. You need timing, and these feeds have it. Prepare for lines that feel like your own brain leaked onto the timeline, only funnier and better dressed. There is a special sport in writing a short joke that reroutes your day. You will feel the tap, then the floor drop. That is the point.

Expect twitter memes built from ruthless economy, funny tweets that travel across group chats untouched, and women comedians who have turned the timeline into a dojo. The mix here spans domestic chaos, office diplomacy, and that one car horn that has been following you for years. Save three, pretend you thought of them first, then repent.

A funny and clever tweet from a user that is making a very literal joke about the common English phrase "bear with me," by pointing out the distinct lack of an actual bear. — Save

A funny and wholesome tweet from a daughter whose dad keeps cryptically pointing at a "Did You Feed The Cat?" chore magnet and making profound philosophical statements. — Save

A sweet and wholesome tweet from a waitress who is telling a story about a customer whose very kind boyfriend tells her that "it's your day" every single day of the year. — Save

A funny and relatable tweet about a partner's hilarious Freudian slip, in which they accidentally said the phrase "Jugs Judy" instead of the name of the famous TV personality "Judge Judy." — Save

A funny and very relatable tweet from a user who is talking about the specific dread of being asked about your hobbies because your only real hobby is looking at your phone. — Save

A very funny and relatable tweet that serves as the perfect and most dismissive reaction to an unknown or unsaved number that is texting you with far too much familiarity. — Save

A funny and relatable tweet that perfectly reframes the act of procrastination as simply letting your current problems "age" into more complex and layered problems, like a fine wine or cheese. — Save

A funny and extremely relatable tweet from a user who is complaining about long-winded recipe websites, and is asking them to just provide the recipe without the long life story. — Save

A funny and insightful tweet from a user who is asking the question of why experimental noise music is always made of scary metallic sounds and not more fun sounds, like bubbles and clapping. — Save

A funny and deeply relatable tweet about the simple but very important daily ritual of changing out of your "daytime t-shirt" and into your much more comfortable "nighttime t-shirt." — Save

Send a few to the friend who replies only in screenshots and the one who left the platform but still reads the good stuff. For nearby laughs, browse twitter memes, funny tweets, and women comedians. Protect your thumbs, they are doing important work.

Who needs to see this?

Send it to the friend who’ll laugh the hardest, or post it for everyone.

Facebook Pinterest X Reddit

Posted by Roy R. About the author

Roy has been one of the internet's meme tastemakers for more than a decade. He and Phil started Thunder Dungeon in 2012 by posting the stuff they found funny, and it grew into viral photo and video creations, one of the largest meme community apps and one of the best sites for daily meme content. If you've spent any time online, you've probably laughed at one of his memes.