Neato

40 Intriguing Fesshole Confessions That Will Make You Question Humanity (Just a Little)

Roy R. Apr 25, 2024 05:00 AM EDT

The Best Fesshole Confessions

The internet: a vast landscape of information, entertainment, and...confessions? Fesshole, the anonymous online confessional, provides a platform for people to unload their deepest, darkest secrets – things they'd never dare utter in real life. This collection dives into 40 of the most outrageous, thought-provoking, and oddly relatable confessions lurking in the digital shadows.

Prepare to have your moral compass gently nudged (or maybe shoved) by this assortment of anonymous confessions. You'll find revelations that range from the mildly amusing ("I pretend to be bad at parking to get sympathy valet service") to the genuinely surprising ("I secretly think mimes are cool"). There are confessions that expose the pettiness that lurks beneath the surface ("I once threw away a perfectly good birthday cake because my friend forgot mine") and others that offer a glimpse into the complexities of human nature ("I volunteer at a homeless shelter, but mostly to feel good about myself").

Whether you find yourself nodding in agreement, raising an eyebrow in disbelief, or simply marveling at the sheer audacity of it all, this collection of Fesshole confessions is a guaranteed conversation starter (and maybe a reality check).

I once paid £3.99 to stream a film on Amazon because I couldn't be arsed to get up for the DVD I had on the shelf not 15ft away. — Save

Always used to hate buying birthday and Xmas presents for my dad. He had no hobbies or interests, so used to always buy him the same present, which was a 4 pack of beer and a jumper or polo shirt. Dad died in 2019 and just wish could buy him the same present one last time. — Save

I like to do "ethical shoplifting" where I take things from the shelves of big supermarkets and place them in their food bank baskets at the end of the store. Technically not stealing as the items never leave the premises- just moving them really. — Save

Landscaper here. Always get asked how I keep plants looking so fresh and healthy all the time. I just give them the usual cliché advice of good sunlight, good water, & coffee grounds. The truth is it's actually. It's rich in nitrogen & phosphorus which makes plants healthy — Save

I matched a girl on Tinder on a Tuesday evening. She asked if she was ok to bring a change of clothes etc as she had work the next day. I woke in the morning & found her sat on my sofa tapping away on her laptop with a headset on. "I'm choosing to work from home today" she said — Save

I work on the 5th floor of my office and our HR department are both nasty and stupid, When I need to wee, I use the loos on our floor. If I need a No. 2, though, I go down to the fourth floor and use the bogs there, near HR, out of sheer spite. — Save

Quit being a Dr in the US when I discovered that the hospital favored low-priority rich people for organ transplants over high-priority very sick poor kids who were at death's door. I moved to UK & now work in the NHS. — Save

I work for a large UK supermarket as a delivery driver and siphon 2 litres of diesel into a coke bottle every shift and stick into my backpack. It has cut my fuel costs in half since I started 18 months ago. — Save

I'm a Sheffield United fan. My wife bought my toddler son a pair of socks with cartoon owls on a blue background. "They're just owls, nothing to do with Sheffield Wednesday," she said. After changing my son, I didn't put the socks in the wash basket but binned them instead. — Save

Wife pressured me into marriage counselling and thinks I hate it. But paying £100 quid a week for a stranger to validate what I've been saying for years, that her emotional outbursts are 90% of the problem, is the best time and money l've ever spent. — Save

@fesshole When our friends got married in Thailand, my girlfriend was so sure we were invited she booked flights and hotel. Turned out it was immediate family only, so we spent 4 days hiding from them on the resort until they left, and to my knowledge they still have no idea we were there. — Save

@fesshole Verbally offered £24k for a new admin job. Someone in HR transposed the digits so all my employment paperwork and contract state I'm paid £42k. It's been 9 months receiving this higher amount per month and I'm not saying a WORD — Save

@fesshole Punched the air at hearing neighbour's son's GCSE results. She sent her son privately at cost of almost £20k/year. My son went to local comp. For 5 years, she's lauded how amazing the private school is. Results day: my son has gained a better result in every subject. Result — Save

@fesshole I work for Tesco. Our food bank donation bin is in a blind spot and I frequently put stuff in it from the shelves during my shifts without paying. — Save

@fesshole A few years ago friends and I deliberately left out a friend from a night out, he somehow managed to be walking pass the bar and he saw us, we locked eyes, he looked at his phone, and looked up and walked out of our lives. Nobody saw him again. Mike, I'm so sorry. — Save

@fesshole Supervise site investigations doing boreholes etc. Busy bodies often ask what's being built. I like to tell them things like asylum seeker hostel, mental hospital/prison, infectious disease research centre, pet crematorium etc. — Save

@fesshole My wife says I'm "condescending", but she pronounces it "condense-sending". I can't correct her because that would be condescending, you see. It's killing me. — Save

@fesshole Every time my dog expects me to give him scraps of meat from my plate, l refuse and remind him of the time he just sat there, tail wagging, tongue flopping out like a friendly idiot, while watching me get mugged of my phone and wallet. — Save

You've just embarked on a voyeuristic journey through the anonymous confessions of Fesshole. You've chuckled at the petty slights ("Seriously, Brenda? Stealing my stapler?"), furrowed your brow at the more morally ambiguous revelations ("Wait, how many people do this?"), and maybe even felt a pang of empathy for the underlying insecurities beneath the bravado ("We all have our flaws, right?"). Feeling a strange sense of connection to these anonymous confessors? Perhaps you crave more quirky internet humor with a collection of hilarious animal tweets. Or maybe you're looking for a deeper reflection on the human condition? Thunder Dungeon has you covered with our articles on psychological oddities or thought-provoking philosophical questions. After all, a little introspection never hurt anyone (hopefully).

Who needs to see this?

Send it to the friend who’ll laugh the hardest, or post it for everyone.

Facebook Pinterest X Reddit

Posted by Roy R. About the author

Roy has been one of the internet's meme tastemakers for more than a decade. He and Phil started Thunder Dungeon in 2012 by posting the stuff they found funny, and it grew into viral photo and video creations, one of the largest meme community apps and one of the best sites for daily meme content. If you've spent any time online, you've probably laughed at one of his memes.