Funny

30 Absurd Hamster Exits Because No Hamster Has Passed in a Normal Way

Roy R. Dec 12, 2023 05:00 AM EST

Hamster deaths

Get ready for a parade of 30 stories that redefine the phrase "unnatural hamster demises." We're talking about hamsters plotting jailbreaks that'd put Shawshank Redemption to shame and tragic encounters with wheels that spin faster than a DJ at a rave. The internet has this weird consensus that these little furballs have a penchant for the most peculiar exits. It's a bizarre fascination that manages to be both unsettling and strangely comforting. I mean, who knew these seemingly innocent fluffballs were leading lives as wild (and often short-lived) as a mayfly? Get ready for a rollercoaster of emotions from belly laughs to moments of somber reflection in this gallery of miniature tragedies.

In those 30 tales, it's like stumbling into a pet cemetery where hamsters have written their own unique exit strategies. Online, these hamster oddities stir up more emotions than a soap opera marathon and spark discussions that rival a philosophical debate. Because, really, what's more thought-provoking than pondering the existential mysteries of hamster escapades gone awry? Who knew these tiny creatures could be both comedy gold and tear-jerking melodrama rolled into one tiny fur ball?

Seriously tho have you ever heard of a hamster dying of natural causes? — Save

hamster death Peacefully die Die the strangest most terrible deaths possible Hamsters — Save

hamster death I had two. My first just kinda..fell asleep and didn't wake up. He was 2. My second had some sort of congestive heart failure and struggled pretty graphically but I guess it counts as natural. She was also I had mine during my college years though. Hamsters aren't really for kids and they don't live very long even with top notch care. — Save

hamster death The one that fell asleep... It wasn't in the winter by chance? Me finding out that hamsters hibernate like a week ago: — Save

hamster death The story of how my brother's classroom gerbil in 3rd grade died: He and 3 friends were sitting in a big circle, legs out to the side with their shoes touching. The gerbil would run along the inside of their legs like it was a wall. Gerbil ran up the leg hole one kid's shorts, came out the other leg hole, fell over, and died. — Save

hamster death my friend once had a hamster that disappeared for a week and showed up again in her cage like nothing had happened. Didn't die or anything it was pretty weird though — Save

hamster death Mine was somhow in the dishwasher — Save

hamster death Our childhood hamster choked on a wood chip, so you've got my sister bawling as my Mom tries to do some bastardized Heimlich maneuver on the tiny creature. — Save

hamster death One of my friends had a hamster, the hamster died because it got choked from getting stuck in a impossible way in the spinny wheel — Save

hamster death Had the plastic habitrail and wheel. My two year old hamster must have stubbed her toe or broke her foot getting on or off of it. Swelled up and turned blue. Then she ate off her own foot. — Save

hamster death Had a few hamsters as a kid. Randomly, Hamster had babies, about 16 of them. New to hamsters. Didn't separate the father. Woke up to a literal murder scene with bloody paw prints dragged across the hamster house in the cage. 4 babies left as well as the parents. Was quite horrific as a child to witness this. Don't think my parents knew what to tell us kids. — Save

hamster death In primary school my friends hamster cannibalised the other one despite having food available — Save

hamster death When I was like 6 or 7, I had 2 gerbils, my mom and I went out to the store and when we came back I had 1 gerbil. My mom told me that the other gerbil left, and I asked if it left like dad. She said maybe the gerbil will come back. My aunt told me that gerbils eat other gerbils sometimes, and for a while there, I actually thought my mom ate my dad, and I started being a really good kid. — Save

hamster death My ex-girlfriend's hamster died accidentally getting crushed to death in a drawer. Mine died from an illness from living in an unclean cage. (I was 11) Hamsters just prone to premature death :( — Save

hamster death I heard about a hamster who died because someone farted too loud — Save

And as we wrap up this peculiar journey into the hamster underworld, remember this: those 30 tales are just the tip of the iceberg in the weird and wonderful world of unconventional pet stories. If you're hungry for more bizarre animal adventures and curious pet mishaps that make you question the sanity of pet ownership, dive headfirst into the abyss of tiny creature tales. Because let's face it, the bizarre and unexpected in the realm of pet ownership? It's like a bottomless pit of entertainment that never fails to amaze and confuse us all.

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Posted by Roy R. About the author

Roy has been one of the internet's meme tastemakers for more than a decade. He and Phil started Thunder Dungeon in 2012 by posting the stuff they found funny, and it grew into viral photo and video creations, one of the largest meme community apps and one of the best sites for daily meme content. If you've spent any time online, you've probably laughed at one of his memes.