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Funny

36 Dad Jokes You Will Be Slightly Disappointed in Yourself for Laughing At

Roy R. Jun 09, 2023 01:00 PM EDT

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Why do horses have low divorce rates? They have stable relationships. — Save

You thought the last couple jokes you heard were bad? spoiler Well, this Fibonacci joke is worse than the last two you heard combined. — Save

A police officer just knocked on my door and told me that my dogs are chasing people on bikes. That's ridiculous, because my dogs don't even own bikes. — Save

What does Beethoven do in his grave? He decomposes — Save

I changed all my passwords to 'Kenny' Now I have all Kenny Loggins — Save

I bought a dozen bees, but they gave me 13. I love a free bee. — Save

What do sprinters eat before a race? Nothing, they fast. — Save

I can't think of any boat puns Canoe? — Save

My grandfather was terrible but then I had my first child. Then he became a great grandfather — Save

My aunt stole my car I guess my car's anti-theft devices aren't very good — Save

What happens when a lumberiack doesn't get his way? He throws a timber tantrum. — Save

A colorblind friend insists that all apples are yellow I told him that was bananas — Save

What's the name of a religious group that makes life harder on purpose? The DiffiCult — Save

I told my Wife I was building a model of Mount Everest, she asked, "Is it to scale?". I replied, "No, it's to look at" — Save

My math teacher said I was average. But that is just mean. — Save

How much space should you give fungi? As mushroom as possible — Save

I hate people who use physically impossible metaphors They make my blood boil — Save

My optometrist tried a new therapy with me today and put ketchup in my eyes. Apparently Heinz sight is 20/20 — Save

I was so unpopular at school they used to call me "Batteries". I was never included in anything. — Save

Man walks into an ancient Greek tailors with a pair of ripped trousers. Tailor says, "Euripides?" Man says, "Yeah. Eumenides?" — Save

So, my dad asked me to name a country with no r in it. I said noway — Save

From my 9 year old: Who is the king of all school supplies? The Ruler. — Save

If a Lama with one Lis a holy man in Tibet... And a Llama with two L's is an adorable beast of burden... What's a three L Lama? A big fire in Boston. — Save

I've been telling people about the benefits of eating dried grapes, You know, Raisin Awareness — Save

What's the opposite of island? Isn't land — Save

Before Turning the HeAT On Do you?. Have - - - see Your breath NO , heAT Nuded dressed — Save

i'm never donating to anyone collecting money for a marathon again. they just take the money and run — Save

Where does a horse go when it gets sick? To the horse-pital — Save

Yesterday, I farted in the Apple Store and everyone got upset at me. It's not my fault they don't have Windows. — Save

I asked my wife, "Do you know a three letter word for 'eggs'?" Her: It's ova. Me: Why? Is it because I'm terrible at crosswords? — Save

What's the difference between a well dressed Man on a unicycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle? Attire. — Save

When the inventor of the USB flash drive dies... They'll lower him into the casket, then pull him back up, flip him over, and lower him again. — Save

I'm trying to make some extra dough by selling jokes for 5 cents each. It's a pun per nickel. — Save

As a child, I was forced to walk the plank. We couldn't afford a dog. — Save

My son wanted to know what it was like to be a parent so I woke him at 2am to tell him my sock came off — Save

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Posted by Roy R. About the author

Roy has been one of the internet's meme tastemakers for more than a decade. He and Phil started Thunder Dungeon in 2012 by posting the stuff they found funny, and it grew into viral photo and video creations, one of the largest meme community apps and one of the best sites for daily meme content. If you've spent any time online, you've probably laughed at one of his memes.

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