✖

Funny

30 Funny Women Who Are Using the Twitter Machine Correctly

Roy R. Jun 02, 2023 01:00 PM EDT

Add us on Google

stoned cold fox @roastmalone_ gotta apologize to male authors because I just walked down the stairs and it turns out my chest did actually breast boobily — Save

Victoria Haneman @TaxLawProf There is a lot to process with this new parental verification on my child's iPad. Parent Required Ago check question: What is a VCR used for? Curing headachos: Keoping people safo Playing video tapes Heating up food — Save

purple @prplexi the older i get the more i realize my mom was right, but i just didn't like her tone — Save

rax leads with her crotch' king @RaKing|sDead life is about trying the caesar salad at as many places as possible — Save

Heather Thompson Day @HeatherTDay They offered $1200 in cash for a volunteer to bump their flight. & that's how I learned I am the poorest person in this terminal. — Save

juliet 8 @mamajulesm Just saw a tik tok that said "are you actually relaxing or are you just shutting down and dissociating?" and I've never felt so targeted — Save

juju s @ihyjuju uber eats be sending notifications like "you forgot to order" nah bro i saw the price and came to my senses — Save

rebecca mix is inhaling the attolia books @mixbecca i just want a covered porch so i can sit outside in thunderstorms like an old lady with my coffee and mumble "we needed this" — Save

yukki * Is @fwyukki i watch disney actors grow up so how tf they older than me — Save

Les @Les Bias Nah fr. 7 rounds of interviews for a job and y'all don't pick me? Yeah ok, l'm starting Monday REGARDLESS. Remind me where the expresso machine is again? — Save

ellie schnitt S @holy schnitt I do love nyc like I was just walking home alone & was a little freaked and almost as though he knew, a rat popped out of a pile of garbage and sort of kept pace with me for like 4 blocks?? kinda sweet like having a tiny disease-infested chaperone — Save

Lyz Lenz v @lyzI I told the liquor store guy about a drink I made with this gin he sold me and he was like, "Congratulations you invented a Tom Collins." — Save

That Bitch Aint Got No Favorite Movie! @so14below My mom mispronounce stuff not cuz she can't talk, but be she like her version better — Save

broti gupta g @BrotiGupta The eye doctor will SEE me in a minute? Must be freaking nice!!!!!!!!!!!!! — Save

Amy Silverberg @AmySilverberg My boyfriend said I keep trying to buy him "weird shirts" and they're just shirts that aren't given out for free at sporting events or bars — Save

dove y @lovedoveclarke whenever an article of clothing says "dry clean only" i like to test that theory by throwing it in the washing machine — Save

meghan @deloisivete A cooking competition where contestants make whatever they want but my husband wanders around the kitchen and stands in front of the drawer they need — Save

Sahana Srinivasan @sahana srini having a crush has cured my depression! now it's anxiety's time to shine — Save

Ginny Hogan_& @ginnyhogan_ The problem with Netflix recommendations is they assume | "liked" a show just because I watched 13 hours of it — Save

Ladimonroe - @Ladimonroe22 I just be minding my business and next thing you know a payment is due lol — Save

Geraldine O @everywhereist Love that all these dudes are like "I won't sleep with this year's Sports Illustrated cover model" as though that was ever an option — Save

Lillian Stone @originalspinstr i abruptly close the dELiA's catalog, crack my knuckles, and apply a thick, chunky layer of dr. pepper lip smackers. it's time to Ask Jeeves what happened to the roanoke colony — Save

juju $ @ihyjuju i say "this my song" to about 50 songs — Save

Elana A. Mugdan I @dragonspleen Me writing the beginning of my book: 00ooh the plot thickens!! Me writing the middle of my book: hmm the plot thinnens — Save

dana bad @baddanadanabad i told my bf " never love you more than right after you take a good picture of me" and he was like "you need to keep things like that to yourself" — Save

Erin Somers @SomersErin Thinking about how my sister's college friend was nicknamed "Burgers" cause one time he talked about grilling burgers too enthusiastically. You have to be careful — Save

danny. @danny blanks this was not in the choreography. why my little cousin do this at the end? — Save

kass @kassianeckles "take a look at my girlfriend, she's the only one i got / not much of a girlfriend, i never seem to get a lot is such an insane thing to say — Save

a plate of bamya @NourAbaditi at work today i served a little girl some ice cream, and her mom says "honey, what do u say?" And she looks me dead in the eyes and says "I love u" — Save

Kristen Mulrooney @missmulrooney Just heard a woman yell "noooo my phone" from inside a porta potty. Wishing her nothing but the best. — Save

Who needs to see this?

Send it to the friend who’ll laugh the hardest, or post it for everyone.

Facebook Pinterest X Reddit

Posted by Roy R. About the author

Roy has been one of the internet's meme tastemakers for more than a decade. He and Phil started Thunder Dungeon in 2012 by posting the stuff they found funny, and it grew into viral photo and video creations, one of the largest meme community apps and one of the best sites for daily meme content. If you've spent any time online, you've probably laughed at one of his memes.

Want more of this in your Google results?

Pick us as a preferred source and our memes show up more in Google’s Top Stories.

Add us on Google

Up next

Up next

Meme Dump – 25 Fresh Memes For Your Midday Meal Read next