✖

Funny

Solid Gold Tweets: 30 Funny Tweets You Might Have Missed

Roy R. Mar 21, 2023 05:30 PM EDT · Updated 4 years ago

Add us on Google

HR: Did you tell your coworkers you had handmade gifts for them and then give them the finger? Me: That was a gift from my heart. — Save

vour new dad @drankturpentine ♥ me after killing a werewolf: more like werewolf {but this time i pronounce it were, like the second person singular past, plural past, and past subjunctive of be} — Save

me: *telling what i think is a hilarious story from my childhood* friend: i'm so sorry that happened to you — Save

I grew up just a stone's throw away from where that whole family died of mysterious head injuries — Save

I bought quick oats and two days later my roommate showed up with instant oats. I will not be humiliated; I must find an even sooner oat. — Save

My toxic trait is that I expect people to have common sense and I get mad when they don't. — Save

When I was just a little girl, I asked my mother "What will I be? Will I be pretty? Will I be rich?" Here's what she said to me: "You?" (long cigarette drag) "No." — Save

[McDonald's] cashier: small, medium, or large fry me: yes cashier: i don't understand me: sorry [leaning close] McYes — Save

me: the storm blew off 3/4 of our roof friend: oof me: yeah pretty much — Save

"Oh sorry i just saw your text" me with a screen time of 11 hours per day — Save

I'm sorry, were any of you planning on telling me there used to be a species of penguin that was 6'7" (2m) tall and weighed 250 lbs (115kg) called Mega Penguin or was I supposed to just find that out on my own — Save

how long has Gwyneth Paltrow been detoxing surely she can't have anything left at this point where does it end — Save

An influencer werewolf named Lycan Subscribe — Save

pretending to be asleep so the cop that arrested me has to carry me to my cell — Save

This is my first rodeo. What kind of animal is that. Who's that guy in the barrel. What's up with the timer. What the fuck is going on here. — Save

ME, 10: [falls out of a tree] I'm fine ME, 20: [parties all weekend] I'm fine ME, 30: [accidentally drinks water too fast] I need to sleep for 3 days — Save

THE MINIMUM WAGE SHOULD BE 30 DOLLARS AND CEOS SHOULD HAVE TO FIGHT IN A THUNDERDOME ONCE A YEAR — Save

Damn girl are you a kids movie from my generation because you're fun and cute but also horrifying in many ways I didn't originally realize. — Save

i love COCAINE Coming Out of my C age And I ve been doi Ng just fin E — Save

Little Mermaid: I want to be where the people are Me: trust me u dont — Save

adulthood is emailing "sorry for the delayed response!" back and forth until one of you dies — Save

I'm kinda glad dinosaurs are extinct because I'm pretty sure I'd try to ride one after a few drinks. — Save

People who say "don't hate the player hate the game" are working under the wildly false assumption that I am unable to hate 2 things at once — Save

*Showing me a picture of your baby* Me: Is that a dog toy in the background? What kind of dog do you have? What's your dog's name? — Save

I just wanna date someone who makes me feel the way I feel when the delivery guy rings the doorbell — Save

if you can successfully put a piece of plastic wrap on a bowl without the whole thing clinging to itself honestly you are gifted — Save

my favorite game is to act like i can't understand something very simple when a man is explaining it to me to see how dumb he thinks i am — Save

Baby giraffes can walk within minutes of birth but sure, show me more photos of your infant doing nothing, Carol. — Save

The seat behind looks like it's taking the seat in front hostage — Save

<a href="https://www.boltmug.com">BOLT Heated Mugs </a> To keep your coffee and tea at the perfect temp for hours. Check out our actual 5 Star reviews<a href="https://www.boltmug.com"> HERE </a>
Save

HR: Did you tell your coworkers you had handmade gifts for them and then give them the finger? Me: That was a gift from my heart.

Who needs to see this?

Send it to the friend who’ll laugh the hardest, or post it for everyone.

Facebook Pinterest X Reddit

Posted by Roy R. About the author

Roy has been one of the internet's meme tastemakers for more than a decade. He and Phil started Thunder Dungeon in 2012 by posting the stuff they found funny, and it grew into viral photo and video creations, one of the largest meme community apps and one of the best sites for daily meme content. If you've spent any time online, you've probably laughed at one of his memes.

Want more of this in your Google results?

Pick us as a preferred source and our memes show up more in Google’s Top Stories.

Add us on Google

Up next

Up next

Dank Meme Dump – Philcrasturbation (25 SPICY MEMES) Read next