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Funny

Solid Gold Tweets: 24 Funny Tweets You Might Have Missed

Roy R. Mar 14, 2023 05:00 AM EDT

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The last place I'd expect to find a hair in my food is a Brazilian steakhouse. — Save

me: I pour my blood, sweat, and tears into every dish health inspector: so you see why this is happening — Save

Here's a common scam that is going around that you should know about: Sometimes cats will meow at you like they haven't been fed, but in fact someone DID feed them and they're just trying to get fed again — Save

what if you added the letters S and E to the X files hahha. it would be the X-ES Files. haha excess files. way too many files Ima — Save

[watching jaws and realizing all the characters have jaws] oh no, it could be any one of them — Save

Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Your options are a pound of salty meat or 900g of sugar — Save

(To guy who just sat down in the bathroom stall next to me) Welcome to the big leagues — Save

Stealing candy from a baby might be easy AF but finding a baby with candy is the tricky part — Save

I have a place for everything. The floor. — Save

I don't remember my driver's ed teacher saying anything about merging while a child is playing a recorder in the back seat. — Save

A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light — Save

My doctor today asked me "how's vour health?" buddy...you tell me... — Save

[shaking a magic 8-ball] me: will my vision ever get better? coconut: — Save

I eat healthy during the daytime but what happens between 8 PM and 5 AM is between me and god — Save

Hi everyone, welcome to ventriloquist club! The first rule here is do not talk about ventriloquist club...with your lips moving. Haha, just a little joke to get us started. Obviously the first rule is don't fall in love with your puppet. — Save

Judas: The one I kiss is Jesus Christ. Soldier: You can just point to him. Judas: (putting on lip-balm) I don't tell you how to do your job. — Save

You arrive at a gate with two guards. Guard 1: Halt, traveler. You must solve our riddle to continue. Guard 2: here we go G1: ONE of us only tells the truth. The other only tells LIES. G2: jesus christ, Daniel, I said I was sorry. — Save

[nodding my head to the beat] kinda catchy isn't it [doctor taking stethoscope off my chest] it shouldn't be — Save

don't smoke unless ur smoken to — Save

Welcome to being a boy parent You'll find yourself yelling strange things like, "DON'T THREATEN YOUR BROTHER WITH PEE!!" — Save

romo (relief of missing out) — Save

When I said I liked it rough, I didn't mean my entire life. — Save

WIFE: I regret getting you that blender for Christmas. ME: {drinking toast} Why? — Save

you ever just hand things to your cat to sniff so they can feel included — Save

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The last place I'd expect to find a hair in my food is a Brazilian steakhouse.

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Posted by Roy R. About the author

Roy has been one of the internet's meme tastemakers for more than a decade. He and Phil started Thunder Dungeon in 2012 by posting the stuff they found funny, and it grew into viral photo and video creations, one of the largest meme community apps and one of the best sites for daily meme content. If you've spent any time online, you've probably laughed at one of his memes.

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