Protein tweets
Listen to me. You want to get big? You want to cultivate mass? You need to stop reading this and go eat a chicken. But if you are going to read, you might as well read about the struggle. The world is obsessed with gains right now, and honestly, it’s about time. I used to carry around a trash bag of chimichangas just to hit my calorie count, so I understand the dedication.
These protein tweets are speaking my language. You have people out here trying to put protein in water. In coffee. In air! It’s beautiful. Your body is a temple, but it’s also a machine that needs fuel. If you aren’t thinking about your macros every second of the day, are you even living? Or are you just a tiny, small person taking up space? We need energy to fight! We need energy to protect our friends! And that energy comes from whey powder and sadness.
The fitness industry has convinced us all that if we don’t consume 200 grams of protein a day, we will wither away. Here are the funniest tweets from people trying to navigate the absurd world of high-protein marketing and gym culture.























The Costco hotdog tweet is not a joke; it is a financial strategy. Where else can you get that kind of meat-to-dollar ratio? And the tweet about protein curing depression is dark, but hey, endorphins are real. If getting jacked fixes your brain, then pass the shaker cup.
If you are pumped up and ready to lift, keep the energy high. Check out gym humor, workout memes, and fitness fail posts for more iron-pumping comedy.