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50 Brand New Sentences That Have Never Existed Before

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Brand New Sentences No One Has Ever Said

The day I heard a friend announce, “My toaster and my goldfish are in a heated custody battle,” I realized there’s no limit to the madness of funny brand new sentences. Humans are word wizards—always inventing phrases no one’s ever dared say before. As a lifelong collector of weird quotes, I live for the moment when someone strings together words so unique you have to pause and appreciate the chaos.

Brand new sentences are the internet’s version of mad science: part meme, part brain exercise, part pure nonsense. Thanks to social media, group chats, and the unfiltered thoughts of the internet, there’s never been a better time to witness original phrases being born. Sentence memes are exploding in popularity, especially after last week’s viral challenge where people tried to out-weird each other with never-before-seen lines. The results? Legendary. Some are so surreal you’ll want to write them down for later. Others are just bizarre, poetic, or flat-out hilarious. If you love word memes, random sentences, and collecting “wait, what?” moments, you’re going to have a field day here.

50 Brand New Sentences of Word Wizardry Unleashed

Woman holding sign at protest that reads: "Viagra is gov’t funded ($41.6mil/yr). If pregnancy is GOD’S WILL, so is LIMP DICK."
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Tumblr post: “TIL Humans are bioluminescent and glow in the dark…” with reply: “Forget every product from the ‘beauty’ industry, I want to know how to increase my natural bioluminescence.”
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Tweet joking about friends with jobs speaking formally, despite wild past behavior: “Why are you Microsoft Outlook-ing me?”
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Tumblr post: “Cosmetic surgery is yassified taxidermy for alive things.” Reply: “#None of these words are in the bible.”
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Tweet: “Using a condom and still pulling out, call that 2 factor authentication.”
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News post: Woman who changed her life after seeing “Bigfoot” sues park, officials say it was a bear. Comment: “There’s a lot going on in this headline.”
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Tweet: “North Korean soldiers in Russia are gorging on pornography after gaining unfettered internet access.”
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Comic: Brown figure says, “I’m shooting my bomb with my gun,” while another figure asks what it has to do with them.
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Tweet: “Girl on TikTok drove her undocumented boyfriend back to Mexico after he cheated—DIY deportation.”
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Tweet: “Get married and have kids so you can schedule your life around ungrateful banshees who eat your chips.”
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Now that you’ve powered through all 50 funny brand new sentences, your vocabulary has probably leveled up—and maybe your sense of reality has taken a vacation. Some lines made you snort-laugh, others probably left you in stunned silence. The wildest thing? Every single sentence here was created just for this moment, and you can bet no one in human history ever said them before. That’s internet magic. Bookmark your favorites, share them in your group chat, or drop one in a meeting and see if anyone notices. You’re now armed with the best new sentences on the web.

Need more language lunacy? Check out our posts on legendary autocorrect fails, the weirdest things overheard in LA, and the greatest “accidental comedy” ever witnessed. The possibilities are infinite—and so is the laughter.

Who needs to see this?

Send it to the friend who’ll laugh the hardest, or post it for everyone.

Posted by Phil M. About the author

Phil co-founded Thunder Dungeon with Roy in 2012 and has been a meme tastemaker ever since, helping turn a page of funny finds into viral photo and video creations, one of the largest meme community apps and a daily home for memes. He's more than memes, too: Phil is an award-winning comedic actor and director whose feature films are on streaming platforms.

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