January is the longest
Let me tell you something. I looked at the calendar today, and it said January 75th. I said, “Excuse me? Are we still doing this?” We paid our dues! We did the holidays, we spent the money, we ate the ham. Now it is time to move on! But no. January is the longest month in the history of time. It is cold, everybody is broke, and the sun sets at noon. Who signed off on this?
You have people out here aging ten years in thirty days. You look at Ben Affleck in that photo and that is all of us. We are tired! We are smoking a cigarette we don’t even smoke! It is disrespectful. The rent is due again? Already? We just paid it! January needs to wrap it up. Take a hint, lady. Nobody wants you here. Go home. Send in February. At least February is short and brings chocolate.
If you feel like you have been living in the year 2024 for three years already, you are not alone. We have gathered the funniest complaints from people who are absolutely done with the endless winter, the empty bank accounts, and the seasonal gloom.
The chart showing January taking up 90% of the year is mathematically incorrect but emotionally one hundred percent accurate. It really does feel like a trial period for the rest of your life. But hey, if we can survive the first forty-five days of January, we can survive anything.
If you are looking for more ways to kill time until spring, we have you covered. Check out winter struggle memes, seasonal depression humor, and cold weather jokes to keep warm.
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Priya Coleman is a viral content specialist and meme analyst with over six years in digital publishing. Her past roles include viral content editor for PopSugar's humor vertical and meme correspondent for HuffPost’s comedy section. Priya specializes in spotting trending meme moments just before they peak—like the chaotic delight of the Ever Given’s Suez Canal mishap or the existential comedy of This is Fine. She brings her sharp wit and instinctive knack for viral content to Thunder Dungeon, always keeping the community a step ahead of the latest meme craze.
