New Year’s resolution memes
Ah, the annual ritual of performative self-improvement. We love it, don’t we folks? We love the idea that the arbitrary flipping of a calendar page somehow grants us the fortitude to suddenly become people who enjoy kale and wake up at 5 AM to meditate. It’s delusion therapy on a global scale. We aren’t actually going to change, but we enjoy the “process” of buying a new planner and lying to ourselves for roughly seventy-two hours. If’s the thought that counts, even if the thought is “I will definitely learn Italian this year” while currently ordering Uber Eats for the third time today.
That’s why I prefer these New Year’s resolution memes. They cut through the noise of motivational Instagram posts and get right to the dark heart of the matter: we are creatures of habit, and our habits mostly involve seeking comfort and avoiding pain. These jokes are the collective sigh of relief we all need right now. They validate the fact that your only real goal is to survive another year without totally embarrassing yourself, and honestly, that’s noble enough.


















































Going through this collection is infinitely more satisfying than actually trying to stick to a resolution. There’s a profound honesty in these jokes that you just don’t get from vision boards. It really highlights the universal human experience of having high hopes and absolutely zero follow-through. It makes you feel less alone in your inevitable slide back into old habits by week two of January.
It’s much healthier to laugh at our collective inability to change than it is to actually try and fail. The vibe here isn’t depressing; it’s liberating. It’s permission to just exist without constantly trying to optimize every second of your life. If we all just agreed to lower the bar significantly, we’d be a much happier species. Let’s just aim for “drinking water sometimes” and call it a win.
When you’re done pretending you’re going to run a marathon this year, settle in with some more relatable internet humor. We highly recommend browsing memes about existential dread, adulting failures, and the general fatigue of existing in the modern world. It’s much better than actual self-improvement.