Tweets about time

Time is a prank we all fell for, and the punchline is the mirror. Most days I feel like a limited edition collectible, still in the original packaging, except the packaging has a crease and a coffee stain. I am not mad at time, I just want it to stop running sprints when I am trying to nap. The internet makes it weirder. You see a memory from three years ago that somehow happened to a stranger with your face. You watch a teenager call a 2016 song vintage and consider becoming a tree. The jokes that land hardest are the ones that accept the chaos and then wink at it. We collect those here, crisp one liners that treat the clock like a misbehaving intern. Expect punchlines that wear a suit and carry a brick. Somewhere in this scroll you will find the sentence that explains your entire week, and you will pretend it did not hurt. Tonight, for your entertainment, I am carrying a small flashlight into the cave and pointing at the stalactite named tweets about time. Try not to think about the stalactites forming while you read this.

You are about to see jokes that bend clocks and roast calendars. We pulled entries with the clean snap of time memes, the mortal shrug of aging memes, and the delightful spiral of existential memes that make you laugh before the second laugh catches in your throat. If your planner is a suggestion and your reminders are a chorus, this gallery will feel like home. Send one to the friend who still says last year and means four presidents ago.

There is a reason so many jokes about time go viral, everyone is living the same paradox. We measure everything to the minute while having no idea where the minutes go. The shareability sweet spot sits between recognition and surprise, which is why time memes, aging memes, and existential memes travel well. They are quick confessions with a rim shot. You can laugh at a birthday joke and briefly make peace with entropy in the same breath. If that sounds grand, it is because humor lets us look at the void using a funhouse mirror. The glass is warped, the reflection is honest, and the punchline is still on time.

Forward a favorite to the friend who schedules brunch like a moon landing and to the cousin who thinks Tuesday is theoretical. For more laughable time warps, explore time memes, aging memes, and existential memes. Perfect for sending between alarms.