30 Stand-Up Jokes from Comedy’s Rising Stars

Roy

2 years ago

Stand Up Jokes

Welcome to the dimly lit comedy club, where laughter is the currency, and the jokes are hotter than a scalding cup of coffee. Picture the scene: uproarious laughter echoing through the air, fresh-faced stand-up comedians delivering punchlines that hit harder than a reality check. Get ready for a rollercoaster of hilarity as we unapologetically dive into 30 stand-up jokes that might just make you question your life choices – or at least reconsider your taste in humor.

Brace yourself for an unrelenting onslaught of laughter-inducing jokes, curated from the comedic minds that are currently taking the stand-up scene by storm. These rising stars bring a fresh perspective to life's absurdities, ensuring a riotous journey through the realms of relatable humor. Get ready for punchlines that hit harder than your last existential crisis – because who needs profound life insights when you can have a hearty laugh at the sheer unpredictability of it all?

While healing the man who was born blind, I hope Jesus said, "Sorry. My dad can be a real jerk sometimes." @NatBaimel
A woman said my mustache made me look like a police officer. But there's a big difference between a cop and a comic. As a comedian, I just do my job, and then I tell people I killed. As a cop I would just kill, then tell people I did my job. I'm not going to hell for doing this joke. But I'm probably going to jail. @NathanTheSnake
Disgruntled Cleveland fans are blaming PC culture, but the real reason the Indians changed their name is so their opponents will quit trying to steal home. Skylina Gol Chris Schmidt @WokeComedian
"All I want is to live in a world where Rage Against The Machine lyrics are no longer relevant." - @jasonzcomedy
"MY GIRLFRIEND AND I LIVE TOGETHER. EVERY TIME SHE'S COMING BACK TO THE APARTMENT, SHE SENDS A QUICK TEXT THAT SAYS "HEADED BACK! AS IF TO SAY WHATEVER WEIRD THING YOU'RE DOING, YOU HAVE 20 MINUTES TO CUT IT OUT." @DanWilbur
I can't read or count. Triple threat, baybeeeee. RUN DMC Sasha Rosser
@gianmarcosoresi I made the mistake of telling my Uber driver I'm a stand up comedian. Without a moment's thought he said, "stand up comedy is only funny if you're, like, really drunk." So I said, "I feel the same way about talking to my Uber driver." WHITE CLAWS
"I don't get why people put their dogs in their engagement photos. Between the dog and the marriage, I see two things that will be dead in 10 years...." @CarlosDoesTheWorld f
Big fan of rompers. When you see someone wearing a romper, that says: "Hi. I like to sh naked." Sasha Rosser @POOPSCRUFFIN4U
I guess if I had to choose one thing I miss about being actively addicted to heroin it's that my relatives never asked me to watch their kids - Andy Gold
I was watching an elderly gentleman buying lottery tickets and I thought to mysell... "Ha, this poor fool. What are the chances that's ever gonna work out?" Anyways, this is my 362nd sland-up shot. BLT COMEDY @alpacapone
A straight pride parade is unnecessary. Straight pride is just going to Chick-Fil-A without a guilty conscious. Cimjsanch

Congratulations, intrepid humor enthusiast! You've just survived a wild ride through 30 stand-up jokes that left you questioning everything, including your decision to willingly subject yourself to existential pondering. The rollercoaster of laughter was worth every moment, and now you can proudly join the ranks of those who've seen life through a comedic lens – or at least had a good chuckle at its expense.

Still hungry for more laughs? Dive deeper into our Comedy Chronicles, where stand-up's rising stars continue to redefine perspectives and reshape your worldview, one punchline at a time. Explore the comedic abyss further, and who knows, you might stumble upon new faces that not only tickle your funny bone but also challenge the very fabric of your reality – in the most amusing way possible.

Roy

Roy R., Chief Meme Curator Roy founded Thunder Dungeon in 2012 and has since guided its growth into a 2.5 million‑strong community of meme enthusiasts. With over a decade of digital‑media experience and a nose for viral humor, Roy oversees content strategy, ensuring every post is both hilarious and high‑quality

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