God Creating Animals: 21 Hilarious Tweets on the Origins of the Animal Kingdom

Roy

2 years ago

God Creating Animals

Prepare for a celestial sojourn into the divine tapestry of laughter, where 21 heavenly tweets unveil God's whimsically humorous side during the creation of animals. Join us as we transcend earthly bounds and witness the divine comedy that unfolded during the crafting of our beloved creatures.

Embark on a whimsical journey through 21 tweets that reimagine the creation of animals through the lens of divine satire. In this celestial collection, we present a divine stand-up routine, with God as the masterful comedian crafting the animal kingdom with a touch of heavenly hilarity.

God Creating Animals Unicorn: why can't you create me again? God: no one's gonna believe a horse has a horn. Unicorn: oh. God: it's just too ridiculous. Unicorn: I guess you're right. [Rhinoceros walks by] Unicorn: God: a hippo with a horn is totally different.

God Creating Animals God: you're gonna be beautiful you're entire life. Butterfly: that's right I better be. God: [to Angel] | don't like his attitude let's make him an ugly hairy worm for half his life.

God Creating Animals God: you're a stingray. Stingray: what does that mean? God: it means you have a stinger. Stingray: like a bee? God: yes! Stingray: omg I'm a waterbee! God: no that's not what I me- Stingray: buzz buzz bubble bubble :)

God Creating Animals God: you lay eggs. Platypus: like a reptile? God: yes but you aren't a reptile. Platypus: oh. God: and you're venomous. Platypus: [happy gasp] like a reptile? God: you aren't a reptile. Platypus: ok I understand. God: you do? Platypus: I have a reptile dysfunction:

God Creating Animals God: you're the world's smartest bird. Raven: wow. I thought it was Owl. God: actually Owl's kind of dumb. Raven: really? God: watch this, hey Owl do you say who or whom when you refer to the object of a verb or preposition? Owl: who. God: lol see? Raven: so dumb.

God Creating Animals God: you're a mermaid. Mermaid: what does that mean? God: you're part women and part fish. Mermaid: what am I supposed to wear? God: seashells. Mermaid: ok but what if they don't fit? God: try a shells, b shells or d shells.

God Creating Animals God: you're a spider. Spider: what does that mean? God: well you can climb, jump, and shoot webs. Spider: like Spider-Man? God: no that's- Spider: i'm gonna protect my neighborhood so hard :) God: Spider: [determined whisper] with great power comes great responsibility.

God Creating Animals God: you're a human. Human: what does that mean? God: you will be a kind, socially conscious people. Human: aw yay! God: and most of you will care about the world and those around you. Human: and the small few who don't? God: will be very loud.

God Creating Animals God: you're a sloth. Sloth: what does that mean? God: you do things very slowly. Sloth: like what? God: Sloth: God: Sloth: God: Sloth: God: [under breath] like respond to my dinner party invite. Sloth: wow ok there it is. I told you I needed to check my calendar first.

God Creating Animals God: you're a horse. Horse: ok. God: you wear shoes. Horse: why? God: to protect your feet. Horse: makes sense. God: but watch out cause the humans think they're lucky. Horse: t-they want my shoes for luck? God: could be worse. Horse: how? Rabbit: you don't wanna know.

God Creating Animals God: you're a moth. Moth: nice! God: you're really into light. Moth: cool. God: any questions? Moth: nope. [later] Jesus: I am the light of the-uh hi. Moth: [blushing] hi.

God Creating Animals Gorilla: so I'm 500 pounds. God: yes. Gorilla: I have no natural enemies. God: correct. Gorilla: 1 literally live here. God: yep. Gorilla: and I'm not the King of the Jungle? God: exactly. Gorilla: who is? God: it's kind of hard to explain- Lion: d-did you tell him yet?

God Creating Animals God: you're a honey badger. Honey Badger: and I have thick skin? God: yep, nothing can hurt you. Honey Badger: bees? God: no. Honey Badger: snakes? God: no. Honey Badger: words? God: only if you let them. Honey Badger: [determined whisper] words will never hurt me.

God Creating Animals God: you're a cat. Cat: I wanna be fast. God: ok. Cat: and agile. God: sure. Cat: and an excellent climber. God: done. Cat: so I have no weaknesses? God: none. Cat: [evil laugh] purrfect. God: on second thought... [later] Cat: [stuck in a tree] you gotta be kitten me.

God Creating Animals God: you're a brown bear. Brown Bear: why am I here? God: I made you. Brown Bear: really? God: yes! Brown Bear: have you made any other bears? God: no but polar, grizzly, panda and black bear are coming soon. Brown Bear: [happy gasp] i'm the very first Build-A-Bear!

God Creating Animals God: you have terrible eyesight. Bat: oh no! God: don't worry l've got a pretty great solution for you. Bat: yay! God: you scream into a void, fly in that direction and then try not to crash into a wall. Bat: God: Bat: I thought you were gonna say glasses or something.

God Creating Animals God: you're an ant. Ant: what does that mean? God: you're very small but very strong. Ant: can I lift a car? God: no. Ant: can I lift a house? God: [sigh] no. Ant: can I lift your spirits when you're feeling down? God: aww yes. Ant: i'm strongest when i'm needed most :)

God Creating Animals God: you're a beetle. Beetle: omg which one? God: uh-what? Beetle: John, Paul, George or Ringo? God: no that's not what I me- Beetle: I got Paul! who are you? God: [taking Buzzfeed's Which Beatle are you quiz] dang I'm Pete Best : (

God Creating Animals God: you're a cow. Cow: ok. God: you're baby is a calf. Cow: ask me why I'm tired after giving birth. God: w-what? Cow: ask me why I'm tired after giving birth. God: why are you tired after giving birth? Cow: i'm decalfeinated: God: Cow: someone's laughtose intolerant

God Creating Animals God: you're a cephalopod. Octopus: what does that mean? God: you have eight arms. Octopus: and camouflage and venom! God: what-no. Octopus: can we vote on it? God: ok. Octopus: 8 to 2 | win: ) God: [sigh] never doing that again. [later] God: you're a snake. Snake:

God Creating Animals God: you're a dog. Dog: pat my head! God: [pats head] Dog: rub my belly! God: [rubs belly] Dog: ok what were you saying? God: you're a good boy. Dog: [tail wag] God: but the humans need you now. Dog: [rests head on God's knee] will | be their best friend? God: forever.

Congratulations, celestial explorer! Your journey through this divine tapestry has been filled with laughter as you witnessed God's humorous take on animal creation. As you reflect on these tweets, the blend of divine imagination and earthly humor leaves you marveling at the whimsical intricacies of the animal kingdom.

Eager for more divine comedy? Explore our extensive collection of tweets capturing God's humorous moments in various creations. The heavenly laughter continues, inviting you to delve deeper into the celestial stand-up that unveils the lighter side of divine artistry.

Roy

Roy R., Chief Meme Curator Roy founded Thunder Dungeon in 2012 and has since guided its growth into a 2.5 million‑strong community of meme enthusiasts. With over a decade of digital‑media experience and a nose for viral humor, Roy oversees content strategy, ensuring every post is both hilarious and high‑quality

God Creating Animals: 21 Hilarious Tweets on the Origins of the Animal Kingdom

Roy

2 years ago

God Creating Animals

Read Memes

Get Paid

Roy

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Read Memes

Get Paid